Beware of the Dog

Remember to enter your picks for week 10 of our college picks and don’t forget that if choose to pick a winner in the bonus game, you have to say how much you want to wager on it (1 to 5pts). Also, there is a new post up at SP Sports called No Other Option about the wishbone offense and why you should watch the Wofford @ App State game tonight at 8 on ESPN2.

But enough of that, on to the NFL picks for week 9. For three straight weeks I’ve broken even on my picks, but this is the week when I make my breakthrough. I can feel it. So here are my picks:

TB @ KC – TB7 (TB7.5) –> Gruden is an awful coach on offense so stay away #1

Arizona @ St L – A2.5 (A3) –> how did Zona lose to Carolina? I’ll take them to get their shit together this week

Baltimore @ Cleveland – B3 (C1) –> the Ravens are my backup $ team, so take them

GB @ Tennessee – T6 (T5.5) –> the Titans have been my primary $ team all year, so I’ll continue to ride them

Houston @ Minnesota – M2.5 (M4.5) –> I can’t figure out either of these teams, stay away #2

Jets @ Bills – B5.5 (B6) –> the Jets suck, the Bills should get back on track after last week’s loss, take the Bills (that’s for you Todd)

Jacksonville @ Cincy – J3.5 (J7.5) –> two disappointing teams, stay away #3

Detroit @ Chicago – C8 (C12.5) –> a huge spread bc Detroit has a no-name at QB, but the Bears with Orton should cover

Miami @ Denver – D2.5 (D3.5) –> just an awful game, stay away #4

Cowboys @ Giants – G10 (G7.5) –> how is this spread only 7.5? How is Dallas going to score any points? What’s the over/under on Brad Johnson sacks? Giants win by at least 10

Philly @ Seattle – P4.5 (P7) –> Philly on the road has been bad, so stay away #5

ATL @ Oakland – A7 (A3) –> Oakland is better at home, but still crappy, so I’ll take ATL

NE @ Indy – I5.5 (I5.5) –> I think Indy will win but by less than 5 so it’s stay away # 6

Pitt @ Washington – W1.5 (W3) –> the Steelers’ O-line is terrible and I have both Portis and Campbell on my fantasy team so I might as well double down and take the Skins

Queue the Soft Music

Am I the only one who hated Senator Obama’s infomercial? I watched maybe 10 to 15 minutes before I had to give up. I felt like it should’ve been prefaced by a voice over saying, “And now, for a very special episode of Oprah…”

It was too much fluff and soft music with tales about ‘real working Americans’ and not enough substantive policy. It was more of a soft documentary (like the ones on Oprah or Extreme Home Makeover) than a discussion. So for me, it was a waste of time.

Which is why I’m proud to inform you that you can read about all things not related to this never-ending campaign on this site. For instance, at the Society page we’ve got a new article that talks about how Rev Al Sharpton is doing a disservice to the cause of racial equality by getting all bent out of shape about something a sports writer wrote. And underneath that long post (sorry, I rambled) there is an interesting discussion about what’s the best beer.

And over at SP Sports week 10 of total consciousness college football picks is up and there’s a surprise bonus pick. Enjoy, and go Dogs! (Not the Dogs you’re thinking of)

Plus, if you want to think about political stuff without all the fluff of this idiot election, then go to the Politics page to read about how you can pretend you’re the incoming President and get to pick your Presidential Advisory Dream Team.

P.S. Why does Fox feel the need to play the Rocky theme song after every half inning in which the Phillies are winning? I’ve put up with this for 4 games, but I can’t take any more. Especially since I’m already putting up with the fact that this is basically a 3 inning game.

Will Your Lawyer Talk to God?

“I am innocent”

Those are the words of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens. Stevens was an enemy of The Stormy Present in its earliest incarnation when I was in grad school. Fortunately, this newer version of The Stormy Present hasn’t had to decry his actions since the general public has relegated this guy to the status of “cantankerous jackass who constantly proves his own ignorance and therein makes you wonder if there is any hope for our government when a jackass like this has been in the Senate since 1968.”

Stevens is the only politician whose name I refuse to preface with the title of the office he holds. That’s the level of my dislike of the guy.

Anyway, he was convicted on 7 counts of making false statements to the Senate Ethics Committee (article). Not a surprise given the man’s history, but hey, government works slowly. Technically, the maximum penalty for his crimes could be as high as 35 years in prison. Of course he’ll probably get no jail time, but like the country song implies, ‘Your lawyer can’t talk to Jesus for you when you die.’

And if that isn’t enough politics for you, go to the Politics page and check out my post ‘Fighting Against the Culture War Instead of Fighting IN the Culture War’ (a video is included), then watch the video Jeff found in which the “WhaaatttzzzzUUUUppppp”  guys are anxiously awaiting the upcoming election, and finally read my post about an article from Foreign Policy in which you’re allowed to pick your Presidential Advisory Dream Team.

And if politics ain’t your thing go to the Society page and enjoy a discussion on what’s the best beer.

Aggressively Mediocre

(Aggressive Mediocrity, by the way, is the production company for Californication and I think that might be the best two word phrase I’ve ever heard.)

My week is all screwed up thanks to the Friday night game that I was supposed to cover being pushed up to today. So before I forget, at the bottom of this post you can see the spreads for week 8 of the NFL, which I get from listening to the BS Report in which Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal try to guess the lines for the games and then reveal the actual line and bet accordingly. I play along, because otherwise I’d have to do real work, and my guess at the spread comes first with the real spread in parentheses.

After being solid for the first 3 weeks, I’ve become adeptly mediocre. For the season I’m 28-26, which means that if I were betting on these games (and I’m not because that would be illegal and immoral [or something]) I’d only be up $40. But whatever, it’s free money (hypothetically speaking).

But before you look at the games, check out SP Sports for Brad’s post about what a Tampa World Series win would mean for baseball. (On a side note, I’m pulling for the Phillies but Cole Hamels clearly balked last night. He was going home and then threw to first base midstream. His foot only made it maybe 45 degrees toward first, which has to be a balk in mind.) And while at SP Sports check out our College Football picks.

Then at the Politics page, even though we’re on a politics blackout until the election is over, you can click on a link to see Andrew Sullivan and Marc Ambinder talking about why they blog.

And lastly, at the Society page you can discussion your best concert experience and read my latest post on how SNL is beating a dead horse with the Sara Palin skit. Seriously, SNL used to be good but now they’re a one trick pony. Sorry for all the equestrian related analogies. And now the NFL spreads (most of which I nailed or was close too):

TB @ Dallas – D1.5 (Dallas by 3.5) –> when you don’t know who the qb is it’s stay away game #1 [plus, last week I picked TB with the spread at 10.5 and they won by 10, which is douchy of them]

Arizona @ Carolina – C4 (Carolina by 4.5) –> I don’t bet on Carolina

Buffalo @ Miami – B1 (Buffalo by 1) –> Miami needs this one and Buffalo is getting too much media attention, which is a jinx, stay away #2

Washington @ Detroit – W6 (Washington by 7.5) –> I like the Skins, despite them not covering last week

KC @ Jets – J8 (Jets by 11.5) –> the Jets aren’t good, but KC is awful and lost Larry ’spits drink in woman’s face’ Johnson so I’ll take the shady Jets

St L @ NE – N7.5 (NE by 7) –> the Pats are too screwy, stay away #3

Atl @ Philly – P4 (Philly by 7.5) –> I think ATL will cover bc Philly isn’t that good, but I can’t bet on it because I worry that the Philly blitz gets to Ryan … or can I, take ATL

SD @ NO [in London] – S3 (SD by 3.5) –> I hate the idea of London games, stay away #4

Oakland @ Baltimore – B7 (Baltimore by 7) –>the Ravens are my other $ team, so take them

Cleveland @ Jacksonville – J6 (J-ville by 7) –> I don’t think the Jags can score enough points to cover, stay away #5

Cincy @ Houston – H5.5 (Houston by 10) –> someone explain this spread to me , stay away #6

Giants @ Pitt – P2.5 (Pitt by 1) –> 50/50 shot so I’ll take the underdog Giants

Seattle @ SF – SF5.5 (SF by 4.5) –> Seattle is awful, take the 9ers

Indy @ Tennessee – T3.5 (Tennessee by 3.5) –> the Titans have been my $ team, but I feel like Indy sees this as a must win so they may just pull off the win, stay away #7

Why Can’t Us?

The Philadelphia Phillies are sometimes humorously referred to as ‘The Fightin’ Phils’. Apparently what the Phils are fightin is proper grammar because after winning the National League Pennant some Phillies fan called into XM Radio’s baseball show and said:

“Boston did it. The White Sox did it. Why can’t us? Why can’t us?” (Source: Deadspin)

This has now become the slogan for the Phillies World Series bid. There are even t-shirts for sale with the phrase written on them. Personally, I can’t think of a better slogan to sum up Philadelphia fans.

So I ask: Why Can’t Us? Go Phillies.

And speaking of the World Series, go to SP Sports to check out Brad’s post about how a victory for the (Devil) Rays might change baseball for the better. And while you’re at SP Sports you’ll notice that Week 9 of Total Consciousness College Football Picks is up.

Meanwhile, at the Society page you can read my best concert experience and then describe yours. Yeah, it’s been a slow week.

In Case You Missed It

I imagine you’ve already seen this video, but in case you haven’t check it out. It’s funny. The Penguin basically charges Batman with all the same accusations that Senator McCain charges Senator Obama with.

“Batman (Obama), who is he?”

“Batman (Obama) is a dangerous criminal.”

“Who is he (Batman/Obama) with? Criminals!”

It’s uncanny.

Anywho, go to The Stormy Present Politics page for our last election post about the debate and Senator McCain’s long awaited appearance on Letterman. Seriously, until Election Day we are done with this campaign.

And now your NFL Week 7 spreads and picks as I get them from the Bill Simmons’ (aka the Sports Guy) BS Report, which you can get on iTunes. He and Cousin Sal try to guess the spreads and that informs how they bet. It is a brilliant system. So my guess for the spread comes first and the real spread is in parentheses. Enjoy.

SD @ Buffalo – SD2.5 (SD by 1) –> Buffalo is fading and SD is hot, so I’ll take SD and then worry about LT’s toe

NO @ Carolina – C2 (Carolina by 3.5) –> I don’t bet on the Panthers

Minn @ Chicago – C3 (Chicago by 3) –> Chicago at home is solid, but I worry that Purple Jesus is due for a big game, stay away #1

Pitt @ Cincy – P7.5 (Pitt by 9.5) –> should be a stay away, but I’m feeling greedy so will take the Steelers to cover

Tenn @ KC – T8 (Tennessee by 7) –> the Titans are my $makers, so I’ll take them again this week

Baltimore @ Miami – M1 (Miami by 3) –> Ravens are my other $team so I’ll take them even though Flaco on the road is troublesome

SF @ Giants – G9 (Giants by 10.5) –> the Giants are pissed and will win big

Dallas @ St Louis – D5.5 (Dallas by 7) –> I want no part of this screwy Dallas team, stay away #2

Detroit @ Houston – H4 (Houston by 9) –> this spread is too high to take, stay away #3

Indy @ GB – GB1 (Indy by 1) but now GB1 –> even the bookies are confused, stay away #4

Jets @ Oakland – J3 (Jacksonville by 3) –> take the Jags because they need this one and Oakland sucks

Cleveland @ Washington – W5 (Washington by 7) –> screw it, take the Skins to remind the Browns that they suck

Seattle @ TB – TB7 (TB by 10.5) –> just say no to Seneca Wallace, take TB even though this spread is really high

Denver @ NE – NE3 (NE by 3) –> NE keeps screwing me over, so stay away #5

Are We Human, or are We Dancer?

So apparently when there is a post pending review WordPress doesn’t HIGHLIGHT THAT IN BIG LETTERS. Thus, my grad school roommate was kind enough to submit two posts and they’ve been sitting there unnoticed by me for a month. My bad Todd.

Anyway, go over to the Politics page to see Todd’s poetic review of the political climate these days and then go over to the Society page to see his take on why Warner Brothers needs to ditch Titanic in favor of Dark Knight.

In other news, at the Society page you can also read me rant about how that Little Britain USA show sucks, at the Politics page you can read Where Have All the Good Journalists Gone and the ensuing discussion on that post, and lastly at SP Sports week 8 of Total Consciousness College Football picks is up.

I Called It

So I was off by one day. I wrote a post on SP Sports about how I had good information that Tommy Bowden would be fired on Sunday. Turns out he got fired today. The best part is that none of the Clemson players really came to his defense. Cullen Harper and his dad basically struggled to hide their happiness toward the move. The recently benched Harper said, “It’s what he deserved.” CJ Spiller also chided his now former coach. You can read ESPN’s article on the whole thing here. Pretty funny stuff and it brings up the question, will interim coach Dabo Swinney reinstate Cullen Harper as the starting quarterback or will he stick with Bowden’s final move as Clemson’s coach to bench Harper in favor of Byrnes’ own Willy Korn?

Anywho, new posts include the afore mentioned article about my sources telling me about Bowden’s imminent demise and a review of my preseason baseball predictions. Those are both at SP Sports. So read those and realize that I am a modern day soothsayer.

And then at the Politics page I’ve got a post up called “Where Have All the Good Journalists Gone?” So give that a look and try to come up with any journalists beyond Christiana Amanpour or Sy Hersh that are worth a damn.

Clemson Will Lose Tonight

Lots of new stuff for you to read. At the Politics page you can read my running diary for the Presidential debate that was on Tuesday (it’s been up since Tuesday night, but if in case you haven’t seen it yet … well now you know it’s there). After that Brad put up a really good post talking about how disconcerting it was that while both candidates have been slinging mud recently, the level of vitriol has gotten so bad on the McCain side that people in the audience are shouting “terrorist” and “kill him” when either Senator McCain or Governor Palin mention Senator Obama’s name. It’s a good post and should generate some comments. So check that out. Lastly, on the Politics page Jeff has relayed the news that Senator Obama bought up a bunch of air time and is going to do a public service announcement on at 8pm on October 29. Feel free to leave your thoughts about whether or not that is a good idea or what he should say.

And if all of that is too high-minded for you go to the Society page and read my post about trying to compile a list of the greatest Halloween costume ideas ever. Read what I’ve got, add anything you can think of, and then ultimately none of us will actually dress up but will instead hide in the house with the lights off.

Before I get to the NFL spreads and picks, which I get from the Sports Guy podcast (don’t sue me), Bill Simmons (the Sports Guy) and Matthew Berry (the Talented Mr Roto) said on Simmons’ most recent podcast that they were inviting people to participate in a fantasy basketball league with the two of them. So if you want try and get invited into their league, knows as The Man’s League because of their alleged prowess at fantasy sports, send an email to fantasyfocus@espnradio.com and 4 sentences describing why you should be in the league (they explicitly said bribes were encouraged). Ok, enough of this dribble, on to the picks and spreads:

St L @ Washington – W13 (Washington by 13.5) –> yes, St Louis is that bad; I’ll take the Skins to cover that really really high spread

Chicago @ ATL – C2.5 (Chicago by 1) –> you know what, I’ll take Atlanta

Cincy @ NYJ – N5 (NYJ by 6.5) –> I have no desire to bet on the Jets, stay away game #1

Oakland @ NO – N8 (NO by 7.5) –> the Saints screwed me last week, but they really need to win this game so I’ll take ‘em

Detroit @ Minnesota – M8 (Minnesota by 13.5) –> Purple Jesus is due for a big game, I’ll take the Vikings

Baltimore @ Indy – Indy2.5 (Indy by 4.5) –> stay way #2

Carolina @ TB – C2 (TB by 1) –> I don’t bet on Carolina, but this spread is retarded

Miami @ Houston – H2 (Houston by 3) –> two bad teams, stay away #3

Jacksonville @ Denver – J1 (Denver by 3.5) –> Jags screwed me last week, I’ll take them this week to make up for it

Philly @ SF – P5 (Philly by 6) –> take Philly

Dallas @ Arizona – D4 (Dallas by 5) –> like Dallas because they really need this game to keep pace in the NFC East

GB @ Seattle – GB3 (Seattle by 3) –> the Seahawks stink, I love GB in this one

NE @ SD – SD1 (SD by 5) –> two words, “Norv Turner”, take the Patriots

Giants @ Cleveland – G9 (Giants by 9) –> Want to stay away, but can’t since it is the MNF game; Giants cover yet another of this week’s very high spreads

They Still Play the Blues in Chicago

First, let me bother you with some charity stuff. On October 25 I encourage everyone to participate in the Gulu Walk. What’s that you say? Well it started in 2005 when two people decided to raise money, raise awareness, and show solidarity for the children in Uganda knows as “night commuters” by walking the distance these kids typically walk (20k or 12.45 miles) in order to avoid the most abhorrent facets of the war in Uganda. Basically, there is this rebel group in Uganda (operating out of Southern Sudan) called the Lord’s Resistance Army (LRA). They are crazy fucks. Their M.O. is to kidnap children and turn them into child soldiers or sex slaves. So the “night commuters” refers to these tens of thousands of kids that walk from rural areas or Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camps, which are targeted by the LRA, to the relative safety of larger towns.

So go to this website, see if there is a Gulu Walk in your area (if you live in a big city there is), and at least consider participating or giving money. For the most part the war in Uganda is over, but God knows how these things work (T.I.A.), and even if the peace in Uganda does hold, these kids and their families are still subject to abject poverty.

Bottom line: you can raise money and awareness for a good cause all while burning calories. So get in shape, get right with God, or just get drunk knowing that earlier in the day you burned off enough calories to counteract the carbs in your beers.

GO TO THIS WEBSITE

Now that I’ve said my piece…

At the Society page you can read our debate about the Top 5 Authors and then partake in the Hemingway Challenge. Seriously, try to come up with your top 5 favorite authors and list them in our comment section. And then try the Hemingway challenge. It is frustrating but highly enjoyable.

Meanwhile, over at SP Sports you can see the slate of games for Week 7 of our Total Consciousness College Football Picks. Plus, you can read a sundry of Cubs related posts by Brad (an actual Cubs fan) and myself (a Braves fan who has sympathy for Cubs fans).

Brad’s two posts are: Anybody Can Have a Bad Century and Strategy of Scoring as Few Runs as Possible Backfires.

My two posts are: The Merkle Curse and I Wanna Hear the Song (But Which One?).

Give those a read if you want to laugh and/or cry about the Cubs. Lastly, for beleaguered Cubs fans and people sympathetic to them, I leave you with Steve Goodman’s song, “A Dying Cubs Fan’s Last Request.”